Many of us can remember the joy of playing Super Mario Bros. for the first time. Imagine how different that memory would be (something along the lines of pulling out our hair and screaming a lot, we're sure) if the game had been more like the ripoff in the video above. While this hack (which features the cheapest enemies and traps of all time) might be frustrating to play, its epic fail results in nothing but hilarity when watching. We would gush about our favorite parts here, but we don't want to spoil anything (the surprise is half the fun!). Feel free to share your favorite bits in the comments, though.

To experience this torture for yourself, you can download the game here (click the first link). Also, if you enjoyed the video, check out levels two, three, and four after the break.

The internet has made it easy to find cheats for games, but we miss the tips pages from game magazines, when the discovery of a new code could inspire you to go back to an old game. These codes aren't exactly new, but oldness is the essence of the Virtual Console! We're bringing back the classic codes every week on The VC Advantage.

It's another special celebration this week at Wii Fanboy, and we thought that we would do something special in this week's VC Advantage, involving one of the most iconic Virtual Console games -- in fact, one of the most iconic video games of all time. Even though Super Mario Bros. didn't come out in the U.S. until Christmas, it's the canonical Nintendo game and thus seems like a perfect candidate for the Wii anniversary week VCA.

Two (more) caveats before we delve into our subject matter: first, we'd like to bring up the point that not all secrets are cheats, and not all are intentional. Some of the most interesting discoveries in video games were put in there totally by accident, or are the result of someone's imagination. Second, the images and subject matter of today's VCA are as not safe for work as unaltered Super Mario Bros. footage can be.

Today is a very special day for the Virtual Console. Not only does it mark the occasion where those of us in the states received our first import titles, but also it marks a new age for VC Monday Madness coverage from here on out. Hopefully, the new set we're recording gameplay from will enhance the overall quality of our coverage. Better coverage equals more happy readers (er, viewers, we suppose), correct? And, a happy reader makes for a happy blogger.

Wow, after a couple of weak weeks (we're not sure if that was a pun either) the Virtual Console has come back in a huge way this week with Sin and Punishment and Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels. Though Sin and Punishment has never been formally released in North America, you probably recognize the name as the one that slips through the lips of shooter fans as they say their evening prayers every night.

• Sin and Punishment (Nintendo 64, 1-2 players, 1,200 Wii Points) -- You're not hallucinating with that price. Not only have you had to wait seven years for it, you're also going to have to pony up a couple of extra bucks. Of course, there is some extra translation here, so you can probably justify it to yourself, especially if you're dying to experience Treasure's classic shooter. Besides, it's really good. We'd rather pay $12 for this than $10 for Yoshi's Story any day of the week.

• Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (NES®, 1 player, rated E for Everyone, 600 Wii Points) -- This remake of the Japanese version of Super Mario Bros. 2 is being released on its own for the first time in the U.S., and you're paying an extra buck for the privilege. Of course, you're also getting it with the original NES graphics, so maybe that's worth it to you if you're the curious sort. But please, do yourself a favor and buy Sin and Punishment first.

West Virginia college Marshall University had a small section of its outdoor area converted into an homage to Super Mario Bros. recently, receiving a multitude of upward-pointing thumbs from the Joystiq staff. Of course, we think it's the tops, as well. Aside from the pipes you see above, there was also blocks hanging all about and a "chain chomp was tethered securely to a tree,"

Sounds like the kind of outside world we wouldn't mind traversing.

[Via Joystiq]

Marshall University in West Virginia currently has an outdoor art installation showcasing various replicas of items from the Super Mario Bros. series. As reported by Marshall Univ. student, Griffin McElroy, there are green pipes around campus, a "chain chomp was tethered securely to a tree," and question blocks were hanging around campus. You can see some of his pictures in the gallery below.

Thankfully this story doesn't end badly like the last time we reported on Super Mario boxes being publicly displayed. Last year the small town of Ravenna, Ohio called in the bomb squad after 17 "suspicious packages" which looked like the iconic Super Mario Bros. power-up cubes were found throughout the town.

Full disclosure: Griffin McElroy is brother of Joystiq writer Justin McElroy. Trust us, that didn't earn him any points in us running this story.

In a burgeoning film genre like video game adaptations, Super Mario Bros. (it ain't no game, in case you were confused) should be considered sort of a patron saint. No, it didn't set a great example that those who came next could follow, but it did set a bar for future video game movies that was so low they could trip over it. Now, thanks to a new interview in The Guardian, we learn that Mario Mario himself, Bob Hoskins, was on the SMB-hating bus before that particular bus was cool.

"The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers. It was a f***in' nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! F***in' nightmare. F***in' idiots." See what we mean? Let's see another video game movie engender that kind of hatred from a distinguished British actor. It can't be done! The bar is simply too low.

[Via Cinematical]

Australia getting a Virtual Console game before anyone else? Maybe! We can't be sure when Sonic 3 and Super Mario Bros. 3 will find their way onto the VC, but at least we know they're on their way, thanks to the Office of Film and Classification.

The Aussie equivalent of the ESRB keeps a database of ratings just like the ESRB does. A bunch of games have been added, including a lot that are already out in other regions, and a few, like Mario 3, that are news. Of course, the best part of this for people who don't happen to have Australian consoles is that if a game is planned for one region, it's terribly likely it'll be out soon in others!

Other things on the list that make us happy: Strider (although we don't know if it's the Genesis version or the NES version), Galaga '90, and Probotector II-- which is Super C. The full list of new updates is after the break!

[Via Vooks]

Considering the amount of remixes Mims' hit rap single "This is Why I'm Hot" set off -- R. Kelly's "This is Why I'm Cold," the NBA's "The Phoenix Suns Are Hot," and Chubbs' "This is Why I'm Fat" for example -- we're surprised that it took this long for its catchy hook to reach video gaming's catch-phrase-hungry communities.

Mirroring Mims' insipid lyrics, the simplicity of SnorgTees' shirt design leaves no room for confusion on its message or the company's plans to rake in crazy money by exploiting our nostalgia-addled minds. We can imagine the office congratulations and "props" received by the young designer who paired the 8-bit fire flower with the narcissistic mantra. They all agree, this is why he's hot.

The $16.95 shirt comes in royal blue and black, its lowercase Myriad Pro text staying chalky white on both colors. If you haven't heard the song several hundred times already, you have the option of checking past the post break for an embedded music video of the club track.

We've played through enough Super Mario Bros. games to have learned that no pipe should be approached without caution. After a lifetime of suffering piranha plant attacks, always at the least opportune moments, we've trained ourselves to scrutinize every green tube before hopping over it. We'll sit there for up to two minutes, staking out the pipe to make sure there isn't a hidden fly trap hoping to dupe us with its delayed pattern. Sometimes, we'll even see their eyes poking out, anxious to see why we haven't jumped yet.

These guys seem to pop up everywhere! In addition to their appearances in almost every Mario-related title over the past two decades, the piranha plants extended their roots to Tetris Attack and The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening! They've also been spotted in last Wednesday's Extra Life comic, illustrated by the always-awesome Scott Johnson. It's a predictable punchline, but no less hilarious because of it. We implore you to check it out!

A phone that has the ability to play NES roms isn't anything new, but a phone that was designed specifically for that purpose (see the "A" and "B" buttons) is plenty to trigger our desire synapses. Oh, and dig this: It's got TV out, so you can play on a big screen, much to the delight of people at awful parties everywhere.

But now, as you've probably guessed, it's time for the sad news. You can't buy the phone (made by Hong Kong's Gionee) here. But, maybe that's for the best. Can you imagine how irritating it would be to watch YouTube videos of Super Mario Bros. speed runs interrupted every 20 seconds with "Gram Mam Calling"?

[Via Cell Blog]

We're more than just a tad bit envious over LittleBigPlanet, Media Molecule's ultra-cute, ultra-customizable platformer for the PS3; ever since the title was announced at GDC, we've been downright jealous. Videos of the game's cooperative possibilities have turned us into internet stalkers, following every online preview and press release in secret, constantly reloading LBP's MySpace page every five minutes to make sure that other guys aren't moving into our territory with flirtatious comments.

So seeing that players will not only be able to create landscapes that mimic scenes from classic games (e.g. Super Mario Bros., World 1-2), but likely also dress up their characters to look like Nintendo's mustachioed mascot has inflamed within us the sort of covetous lust that Moses warned against after coming down from the mount. The Virtual Console has been a great way for us to play old classics, but seeing Sony's plans for its PlayStation Network and comparing it to what we've heard so far about original, downloadable games coming to the Wii has us feeling like chumps.

[Thanks Elmer!]