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If you were to ask us what to expect from most fast food joints, we'd probably tell you to look inside your garbage can and basically expect that -- but, y'know, inside of your stomach. We don't know; it's all the same pre-processed, assembly line garbage to us and we manage to successfully avoid it for the most part. But the Mega64 dudes instead find themselves in an almost perpetual, Groundhog Day-like loop when it comes to one particular establishment: Sonic.

Even though each trip usually makes the guys wish they never went in the first place, the thought of returning oddly enough fills them with hope that things will be different each and every time, only to suffer the grim realization again. It's such a departure for Mega64, but we can't help but feel like there's some kind of correlation to a current gaming news item in here -- so we thought we'd post this to see what you all think they're talking about. While we think on it, head past the break and check out the video.

Thanks to the internet, the word "boycott" no longer conveys an element of gravitas. In fact, we're pretty certain that this collection of 1080 (and counting) Sonic fans doesn't actually understand the point of a boycott. The petitioners are upset about Sonic the Hedgehog 4, knowing full well from the leaked footage that it will "simply not be anywhere near as good as the original Sonic games." They're not going to stand for this and have threatened to hurt Sega where it hurts the most: sales. "We will not buy it," the petition explains. "We will in fact buy Sonic 1 on release in protest of Sonic 4."

Take that, Sega! Instead of giving you money, these people are going to ... give you money? Ha! Lesson learned. But in all seriousness, we do want to take a moment to offer some advice to the protesters: The best way to show Sega your disapproval isn't to buy another one of its games. Instead, satiate your desire to hurt Sega and needlessly throw away your money by sending a check or money order to: Andrew Yoon c/o AOL, 770 Broadway, New York, NY 10003. Thanks, Sonic fans!

[Via Destructoid]

It could just be our lowered expectations for games including kart racing, Sonic or "All-Stars" in the title, but we were pretty surprised by the positive buzz for Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing; the Wii, PS3 and 360 versions are all doing well with a 79 percent average on Metacritic. Here's what's being said:

GameSpot (80/100): "Although the core of Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing is obviously pulled straight out of Mario Kart, this wacky racer can stand on its own four wheels. The tight controls and excellent track design ensure that head-to-head competition is always exciting, but it's so fun just to play around with these karts that it's easy to lose hours climbing the online leaderboards in Time Trial mode."

1UP (B): "Though it has some hiccups, unexciting party modes, and a questionable difficulty curve, All-Stars Racing is a respectable effort that makes a good kart racer at its core (and is at least much more cohesive than Sega Superstars Tennis)."

Nintendo Power (8/10): "It isn't quite the fan paradise it could have been, but it's a very good racer that makes great use of classic Sega franchises. We wouldn't mind a sequel with more franchises and tracks included."

IGN: (8/10): "It's pleasantly surprising to find out that the Nintendo Wii edition – apart from the lower resolution – gets similar treatment with close to the exact same features as the stronger hardware."

If the screens above are accurate, it would appear that Sonic Classic Collection has ditched the multiplayer modes present in Sonic 2 and Sonic 3. Taken from Sega Europe's Flickr account, the screens don't display the option for multiplayer in either game, unlike the title screens on the original versions of the games. Granted, the multiplayer certainly isn't the main draw of either game, it is reasonably entertaining and would be well suited to the DS' wireless multiplayer abilities. For what it's worth, the GameStop listing for Sonic Classic Collection notes the game is a single-player game.

It's not too surprising that the modes were cut, as it would require additional programming beyond simple emulation of the original games. After all, you can't plug an extra Genesis controller into your DS. Still, it would have been nice to see the multiplayer as a bonus mode outside the games. Just to be sure, we've contacted Sega for the final word on the matter.

[Via Aussie Nintendo]

If this is really leaked off-screen footage and screenshots of Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 sent in to 1UP, we're surprised to say that it really, for real looks like a Sonic game. Despite a lazy jump animation, it actually looks like something that could satisfy those of us desperate for a genuine Sonic experience. Therefore, we predict either that this stuff is an elaborate fake, or that, after the first level, Robotnik freezes Sonic solid and you spend the rest of the game as Amy Rose dragging Sonic in a little red wagon. Those are the only ways we can reconcile what we see and what we know about Sonic games.

Visible in both the video and the screens is a menu that reveals stages called the Splash Hill Zone, the Casino Street Zone, and the Mad Gear Zone (which probably isn't a Final Fight crossover), as well as a Sonic 1-style Special Stage. Check out the video after the break and face the terrifying proposition that you may become interested in a Sonic game.

Frustratingly, this footage is as wobbly as all furtive "leaked" off-screen game footage is -- despite the fact that the person shooting it clearly had enough control to turn on the system and start the game on demand, suggesting that this wasn't a spur-of-the-moment video opportunity. Maybe the shaky-cam effect makes it look more like what people expect of a leak.

It's a sad fact that essentially the only good Sonic games are the old ones. Thus, we were pretty excited to find out that Sega was bringing the first three Sonic games and Sonic & Knuckles to the DS in Sonic Classic Collection. And here we are, faced with the first good Sonic game in quite some time, and Sega goes and makes a limited edition solely for Spain and Australia. The limited edition includes a tin, art cards, a nifty Sonic figurine and, of course, the game itself.

Don't get us wrong, we're thrilled for Spain and Australia and hope they enjoy this wonderful gift from Sega. Our only question to Sega: Why not share the love with the whole world?

Here's a fun little piece of 16-bit history for you -- did you know that when Sega made its big announcement last week, a game called Sonic 4 had actually been floating around for 14 years? Sure, it's not an official Sonic game, mind you -- it was merely a modded version of the classic Sunsoft SNES platformer Speedy Gonzales: Los Gatos Bandidos. 1UP recently shared the game's illicit history -- a group of Peruvian hackers known as Twin Eagle Group got their hands on the game in 1996, removed all instances of the hasty Mexican mouse, and replaced them with Sega's spiny mascot.

Check out a gameplay clip of the unsanctioned Sonic 4 after the jump. Yeah, it doesn't look great -- but to be fair, Sonic doesn't whip out a gun at any point, nor does he engage in light bestiality, so we guess it has its charms.

[Via Kotaku]

We'll be honest -- we weren't too interested in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing when we first heard about it, but every time the publisher announces a new playable character, our desire to play the game intensifies. (For the record, Sega? You had us at Ryo Hazuki.)

We'll definitely be trying out the new demo -- released on Xbox Live today -- which features Sonic and Banjo as playable racers on a sample track. To accompany the demo, Sega has also released an All-Stars Racing theme for 240 ($3). However, we highly suggest checking to make sure the game's any good before proudly tattooing your Dashboard background with its logo.

Shortcuts: Add the demo / theme to your Xbox 360 download queue [via Xbox.com]

The other day, our friends Alex and Jen invited us up to their loft to play this new racing game for the Wii. We were a little leery about going (Jen kept yelling things like "Waaaah! Super horn!" and "Shortcut cheat!," which was weird), but they promised us it was kart racing "with attitude," so we went anyway. It was okay, we guess. You could ride planes and cars and stuff (Jen was really excited about riding bananas for some reason), but when Alex and Jen kept yelling random competitive cliches in between these weird clinical explanations of powerups, we got kind of freaked out and started checking our watches.

Things got a little uncomfortable when Alex threatened to make Jen cry like a little girl, and when she replied with a confident "Bring. It. On," we knew it was probably time to call it a night and quietly excused ourselves from their apartment. On our way out, we heard Alex creepily mumbling about "the sweet taste of victory" under Jen's nonsense shouting. They've already called us to see if we want to hang out next weekend for a "rematch," but uh, we think we're probably busy then.

Sega has now revealed the promised racing wheel for the Wii version of Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing. The wheel will be available as part of a bundle in the UK. It won't be available outside of European territories at all, which is unfortunate, as the All-Stars Racing wheel seems just a bit sharper than Nintendo's own peripheral. Get a closer look at the wheel and the bundle packaging in the gallery below.

Xbox.com has listed several new games as Platinum Hits, including Fable II (aka Game of the Year Edition), Halo Wars, Left 4 Dead, The Orange Box, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, Ninja Gaiden II, Kung-Fu Panda, Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection, Sonic The Hedgehog, and Sonic Unleashed.

A Microsoft PR agent couldn't confirm the full list of new Platinum Hits (are we missing any above?), but said that if a game is listed as such on Xbox.com, it's a Platinum Hits title. The changes seem to have taken effect on major retailer sites, as GameStop and Amazon now reflect the discounted Platinum prices (if not always the the Platinum Hits branding), which range from $20–30.

With Orange Box requiring only one Jackson ($20), it's now literally a crime to not own it. Conversely, if you're dead-set on committing a crime, buy someone Sonic The Hedgehog or Sonic Unleashed at $20 each.

[Thanks, Stephen]

Remember those Sonic the Hedgehog gaming accessories that Mad Catz announced all the way back in 2009? The peripheral maker has now shed further light on its licensing deal with Sega, announcing a line of Sonic products for the DS Lite and DSi. First up is the microfiber soft case, which looks an awful lot like the neon, nylon wallets we used to carry back in fifth grade. In addition to snugly storing a DS or DSi, the soft case also has an extra pocket for games or related DS goodies.

Next is the ArmorCase which, as the name implies, gives your DSi a tough outer shell to protect it from its natural predators. Like concrete, for example. Finally, our favorite Soniccessory, the Character Sockz. They're basically like the ludicrously priced iPod socks you may have seen, only these have Sonic on them and are somewhat more reasonably priced.

The Sockz, ArmorCase and soft case are expected to retail for $12.99 each, with a release planned for this spring. Check out some pre-production images in the gallery below.

Sega is either having a bit of fun with everyone's perception of the Sonic franchise ... or acting in line with it. The publisher posted the above image featuring a bunch of potential playable characters in the secretive downloadable Project Needlemouse, with the intention of crossing off one per day through Friday. In addition, Sega promises to cross more off in response to correct answers to Sonic trivia questions.

The fact that Sega is prepared to cross off more than five characters suggests that very few of the characters will be left at the end, and many of the characters are inconsequential NPCs in other games anyway. Our guess? The publisher is playfully referring to the near-universal hatred of the extended Sonic cast, to contrast the surprise reveal that Needlemouse has only one playable character.

And that character will be Froggy, the frog Big the Cat attempted to catch with a fishing pole in Sonic Adventure. Another guess can be seen after the break.

A Netherlands-based Sega fansite recently posted a titillating report received from an anonymous source, who claimed Sonic Adventure would soon be running at breakneck speeds onto Xbox Live Arcade. Accompanying this report is the image seen above, which, in addition to listing the game itself, also mentions an "extend package," which ... well, which we can't say out loud without giggling like schoolchildren.

As psyched as we'd be to see the azure rodent make a not-terrible appearance on the 360, we're going to treat this with as much apprehension as we can muster until we hear something official from Sega.

Sonic fans have to be the most hardcore fan base out there right now. Who else would have been able to survive all of the disappointments over the last decade? But don't worry -- Sega is rewarding your everlasting fandom with ... a rollercoaster ride. Rumor has it that the UK's Alton Towers is rebranding its Spinball Whizzer ride as "Sonic Spinball," and a rep from the park says that the retheme will "coincide with the relaunch of Sonic" in 2010.

A 2010 relaunch of Sonic, you say? Color us interested. The teal structure of the ride is apparently being repainted a nice Sonic blue, and this isn't the first time the hedgehog has appeared in the park, either. Here's an old appearance in the park's "Toyland Tours" ride. The coaster is scheduled to be ready for running again in February, so if you happen to be in the UK, you can queue your way up for it then.

[Thanks Michael!]