E3 was brütal! If you blinked, for a split/second, you missed something. Even if you were trine to keep up, it was a blur -- staying a.wake like that, you only pushed yourself to the brink of your own dark void. That's where Joystiq comes in; to crackdown on the madness; to reach out ... with conviction -- phew! Crysis averted.

We've scoured the dark corners and survived the inferno to piece together this roundup of all things Xbox at E3. Why? Just 'cause we love you. So, draw nier and shift your eyes past the break.

For dance fanatics that are just too good for four buttons comes DanceDanceRevolution for PS3 and Xbox 360. The newly revised game will take advantage of a brand new floor mat that has twice the number of buttons as the original. We're not exactly sure how this mode will play, but we're hoping it'll be a little less confusing than playing the drums in Rock Revolution.

The 360 and PS3 versions of DanceDanceRevolution will also include 50 licensed tracks from artists such as Rihanna, Ne-Yo, Coldplay, Gorillaz. 150 classic tracks will also be downloadable at launch.

Though neither of them rhyme with "Petal Near Squalid", two of the four portable games Konami announced have arrived for your stroking and poking pleasure on the iPhone and iPod Touch this morning. The first, Silent Hill: The Escape, will run you $7.99 and allow you to "escape the suspense with full use of the touch panel and confront evil with the accelerometer." Watch your back, evil!

Also arriving in the iTunes Store is DanceDanceRevolution S Lite, an early version of the game – the "full version" is "currently in the works." It's being distributed for free, which seems like a bargain until you factor in the price of replacing your iPhone after you jump all over it.

Download – Silent Hill: The Escape [iTunes link]
Download – DanceDanceRevolution S Lite [iTunes Link]

Wii owners should head over to Toys R Us next week (or, toysrus.com), as the retailer is having a good deal on Wii titles. From 8/3-8/9 (and even starting earlier in select stores, according to ads), if you buy a Wii game that costs $29.99 or more, you'll get $20 off a second Wii game.

Fortunately this deal includes games with peripherals, like Wii Play, Wii Fit, DDR, and Guitar Hero. That is, of course, if you can actually find said games (silly old Wii Fit) in stock.

Does anyone plan to use this deal to pick up a long desired title?

[Via CAG]

We already came to the conclusion that the lack of universal instrument compatibility holds us back from purchasing multiple rhythm games. Which peripheral-based music games do you already own, though? For what system or systems? Which do you plan to buy in the future?

Perhaps after hearing what you have and want, we'll have a better idea of where the faux-band game genre is heading in the future.

What does this woman think she's doing? We have seen some terrible outfits before, but this woman is crazy enough to wear hers with a smile. She should be ashamed just to have these embarassing pieces in her wardrobe, let alone actually on her, in public view. What excuse does anyone have to ever own checkerboard-patterned thigh-highs?

In case you missed the news from last week, Konami is following up its previous DanceDanceRevolution Hottest Party game with DDR Hottest Party 2, promising Mii support, new gimmicks like the "triple stomp," more Wii remote interaction in the Dance n' Defend Battle Mode, new stages, and new characters, such as the unfortunate looking woman mentioned above. The rhythm title will also support a new soundtrack including "smash-hits from the last 4 decades," like Rihanna's immensely annoying "Umbrella" (ella, ella, ay, ay, ay) and Michael Jackson's least exciting single, "Black or White."

But let's get back to what's really on every gamer's mind -- how do these people live with themselves dressing in these clothes? This lady thinks she can get away with wearing a Zebra-print cap with matching hot pants and boots. Protip: it's best to pair a loud print with a neutral piece, rather than mixing or matching it with more loud prints. Now you know.

Despite the fact that, as alluded to in the post title, this stuff is basically marketing for other games, we love it when game music turns up in rhythm games. It may have something to do with the fact that video game music is awesome, especially from companies like Konami that care enough about music to make whole games about it.

This video is from the Japanese PS2 game Dance Dance Revolution Supernova 2 Super DREAM, and features original Time Hollow animation to go along with the game's surprisingly cool theme song. The song sounds vaguely Akira Yamaoka-esque (Yamaoka's works have also appeared in DDR games), though it was composed by Masanori Akita.

We've heard plenty of stories of libraries lending out video games, or using them to attract patrons, but this Nashua Telegraph story about expunging late fees with a quick play of Dance Dance Revolution is unique in our experience.

According to the story, the library's annual "Patron Appreciation Day" let attendees avoid their overdue fines by donating non-perishables to a local soup kitchen or playing a quick game of DDR. The exact pay-for-play system wasn't discussed in detail, but 16-year-old Arienne Stearns apparently needed a "C" grade on her dance to erase $14 of fines from her record.

Not that you had to have overdue books to play -- apparently, many girls "took second turns competing against the librarian, just for fun." This is a good deal, because from what we've heard, you haven't really experienced DDR until you've played it against a librarian ...

We've never really been what you could describe as Dance Dance Revolution experts. We've always believed it was because years of the sedentary blogging life have lead to thick, unwieldy bodies that could sooner emit diabetes-curing indigo light from their fingertips than complete 15 seconds of physical exertion. Now though ... now we're starting to think its because we never had Ronald McDonald to show us the way.

Watch the odd video above and see if you don't end up feeling the same way, just don't blame us if you have to trade your sanity away in the process.

After doing some quick surfing through the intertubes we came across this "Viral Video" for DDR: Dancing Stage Universe and were instantaneously dumbfounded. The first thirty seconds or so of this vid pulled us in with its colorful swirls, contrasting light and introduction of a dancing female. Then we suddenly get slapped in the face with a nauseating amount of colors and we soon realize that the outline is of what looks to be an 80's dancer decked out in a yellow tank top. We're confused, awestruck and are ever so curious to learn how a video becomes officially labeled "viral". This definitely isn't viral, it needs to have its viral license removed ASAP.

Instructables user Jason1820 rewired his Game Boy Advance to accept controller inputs from a Dance Dance Revolution controller, creating the weirdest way to play Pac-Man since the board game. The resulting monstrosity is neither a console nor a handheld, and is really unsuitable for anything but being insane. Thus, we love it.

This guy rewired the circuitry on his GBA to take an external controller, and one that was meant for another system at that. Then he wrote up detailed instructions on how to do it yourself, and added pictures. Meanwhile we couldn't muster the wherewithal to make dinner today, and we'd barely know how to turn on the GBA without the instruction manual.

[Via Wonderland]

With DDR Hottest Party out and Guitar Hero III and Samba de Amigo on the way, the Wii is quickly building up an outstanding library of rhythm games (and also the Alvin and the Chipmunks thing). In some cases, especially with Samba, the Wiimote makes the system ideal, but the real draws are the popularity of the Wii and the relatively low cost of development versus other next-gen consoles.

What does the Wii need in order to have a truly classic music game library? Ports, remakes, sequels, or even original ideas are welcome. We long for a new version of Enix's early rhythm game Bust a Groove, whose combination of attack moves and somewhat flexible timing is still totally unique.

The highlight of this week's releases is undoubtedly Konami's DDR: Hottest Party. While we have yet to see how hot that party is for ourselves, we're sure many of you are sweating up a storm as you move to the beat. So, are you going to be cutting up a rug this weekend, or do you plan on playing something else?