Filed under: Top Five

In this little hobby of ours, there are undeniable classics. Only an utterly clueless fanboy will ignore Shigeru Miyamoto's contributions to gaming, and any Nintendo enthusiast can never deny the quality of a series like Halo or God of War. No matter the platform, there are games which make up the foundation of this medium as we've come to know it.

Traditionally, the formula would seem to be game made by a respectable company + a few years to let it sink in = indisputable classic. Yet there are a few that still provoke debate.

These are games that are neither universally adored nor hated. They almost always spark conversation, and are considered by some to be an acquired taste. Here are the Top 5 games that we all can't decide if they're classics or not.

According to Activision (and after all, they made Pitfall!), video games will "eclipse" all other forms of media. Head honcho Mike Griffith went on to say that "Movies, recorded music and TV - these are all stagnating or contracting entertainment sectors."

I'm not sure how much I agree with that statement. Strictly in terms of cash flow, it's already happening. Gaming is a fairly pricey hobby, and it's been outpacing the other forms of media for several years (in terms of growth). Yet I have a difficult time imagining a time where video games are everyone's preferred form of escapism. Although their respective industries may see drastic changes with direct, indirect, or unrelated connections to gaming, music and film will always have a place. As much as I love gaming, it's not rare that I find myself preferring to zone out with TV or just listen to music and read instead of playing a video game.

What I do see is a further merging of the three into ubiquitous, all-purpose media devices. Microsoft and Sony currently do this, and it's only a matter of time before Nintendo catches up. While most households currently don't rely on gaming consoles as their sole provider of film / TV and music, I imagine that this will change. Perhaps the mediums will start to bleed into one another. With Metal Gear Solid blurring the lines between game and film and Audiosurf doing the same for games and music, perhaps media will merge and propagate a completely new and unique form of entertainment. Interesting stuff.

What was this Top 5 about, again? Oh, right: cut scenes. A lot of them stink. Here's the 5 worst ones.

After being MIA last week, it's nice to be back. I hope you were able to get your fill of inflammatory statements and grammatical errors from another blogger. And most importantly, I'm glad you're back.

While I was away with loved ones, I did like many other of my countrymen and did not hold back on food and drink. Though I try to watch what I eat, the lure of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies and egg nog were a siren's song I could not ignore. And when I make my way to the gym tonight for my semi-daily swim, I know that it will be infested with the dreaded "January Joiners." This is a term which refers to the large influx of people attending the gym in the early part of the year in a futile attempt to fulfill their weight-loss resolutions. Although maneuvering around the larger number of bodies is an inconvenience, I have no ill feelings towards this people. In fact, I wish that they'd stay all year. Sadly, I know better: they'll be gone before February.

So if you've made resolutions, try your best to stick with them. Whether fitness-related or not, setting goals is a great way to improve our lives. Write notes on a calendar, set Google alerts to remind you of goals, and keep your eye on the prize. While your resolutions will best be decided by yourself, we can all agree on a few for Nintendo. Here's the Top 5 resolutions that the Big N should set for themselves. Unlike the January Joiners, let's hope these goals aren't abandoned by Valentine's Day.

Ahh, Christmastime. Every year, we look forward to cherished traditions such as fighting traffic, stressing out over finding gifts, and even the occasional Black Friday trampling. Yet one would be surprised to learn that December 25th has a history which shares very little with frivolous lawsuits and Bill O'Reilly frothing at the mouth.

Indeed, aside from its litigatious and hostile depiction on the news, Christmas is largely an excuse to shower our loved ones with food, presents, and joy. It's also an easy inspiration for a stressed columnist trying to finish his Christmas shopping to create a Top 5 list. As such examples of religious-based holidays are rare in gaming, this list will not be Nintendo-specific. For those who celebrate the date, I wish you a Merry Christmas. For those who don't, I wish you well just the same.

Apparently, happy is the new angry (Uggh, I apologize; I hate the "X is the new Y" phrase as much as anyone). While the Angry Video Game Nerd series continues to grow in popularity, a legion of imitators -- err, "inspirées" -- have arisen from the depths of YouTube. While most appear to simply swap "Angry Video Game Nerd" with a few synonyms and reduce the effort, quality, and obtainable entertainment of the video, one manages to make the formula something completely his own. Alaskan native Derek, AKA lophatjello, has created the "Happy Video Game Nerd." While the self-explanatory premise may sound eye-roll-inducing, one would be hard-pressed to ignore his passion for the retro games he highlights after watching a video of his. And that is a quality which I value greatly: unbridled passion and optimism for gaming. We're too often deluged by a flood of pessimism and jaded cynicism from the gaming world.

Very recently, Derek covered the NES semi-classic Ducktales. He labels it as a "kick-ass licensed game." This is a notable statement, as conventional gaming knowledge tells us that a license is often indicative of a terrible game. While there are always exceptions to rules, I feel confident that most who are reading this post can agree that licenses are too often a kiss of death. Yet the HVGN is correct; Ducktales is a pretty awesome licensed game. Here, in my humble opinion, are the Top 5 games based on popular film and television.

15 days ago, Guns N' Roses released their comically delayed album Chinese Democracy, giving hope to those who are still awaiting Duke Nukem Forever. Unfortunately, anyone looking for another Appetite for Destruction will be disappointed, as the new album's overcoming of its absurd delay overshadowed the album itself. One should question the album's association to the same band of twenty years ago, as Velvet Revolver contains more members of that legendary set. A more accurate title would be "Axl Rose solo project with some Buckethead." After hearing the album, I can confirm that it deserves a hearty "meh." If you truly consider this to be a Guns N' Roses album (which I'm not so sure that I do), it's undoubtedly their worst.

This got me thinking about the bottom rungs of other quality serial productions. Being the nerd that I am, it didn't take long for thoughts to drift towards gaming. We're all aware that it's a bit redundant to bash Nintendo as a company. But one aspect of the Big N which is almost never called into question is the quality of their games. Certainly there's always a few outliers which stray from conventional feelings just for disarray's sake, and good for them. Yet one would have to be certifiably bonkers to label anything from the main Zelda or Mario series as a truly terrible game. But like anyone who hasn't sold their soul to the devil, there's bound to be a few slip-ups. When you're talking about a history as enormous to gaming as Nintendo's, it'd be suspicious if there wasn't a blotch here or there.

These aren't quite at the top of the "worst games of all time" list, but they'd certainly be if the list was Nintendo-exclusive.

After visiting friends and relatives this Thanksgiving, I was left with something special inside. Was it fond memories? Was it a deeper connection with those who I love? Was it several containers of leftovers? Sure, I received a fair share of those, but the most significant thing I received this Thanksgiving was the flu.

I should have known. At least five different folks I saw over the course of the day claimed to be recovering from some form of the dreaded virus. Sure enough, by Friday evening I was sweating and freezing at once, aching all over, and debating on which end to point at the toilet (too much?).

Whenever I get sick, I tend to feel very isolated. While everyone else was out enjoying their four-day weekend, I was tethered to the bed. But it didn't take long for me to realize that I'm certainly not alone. Everyone gets sick sooner or later, and no one is truly immune. In fact, even our video game counterparts have their fair share of sicknesses that affect their goals. And thankfully, just like said counterparts, the infections are usually brief. Here's our Top 5 sicknesses to avoid.

Ahh, the quote. Whether used to end an essay or defame a political opponent, the quote is a very versatile tool. Particularly in the era of blogging, every word that escapes a well-known figure's mouth has the potential to be immediately flung back at them. It's quite scary to look back on conversations I've had and consider the possibility of quotes of mine being used to define my character as a whole.

In fact, judgement of character based on a quote can even usurp the validity of the quote itself. Conventional wisdom asserts that singer Lauryn Hill once made a statement to the effect of "I'd rather have my children starve than have a white person buy my album." While this is simply not true, the false statement has been cited by those who would define Hill as a racist. Even Eminem supported the fallacy in a song whose title I won't mention.

Being over a century old, Nintendo is bound to have a few interesting quotes attributed to them. Coupled with a philosophy that is undoubtedly unique and perhaps offbeat, the Big N is not lacking in the department of ear-catching statements. Two weeks ago, I made a Top 5 in which I tried to downplay any tension between Nintendo and its fans. This week, I'm providing cheap ammunition. Enjoy.

Coming off perhaps the longest election of all eternity, one aspect that stands out for me is the relentless demand for voting. Particularly for young people, the act of voting transcended the realm of obligation and became more of a societal requirement. 2004's "Vote or Die" campaign resurrected itself as "Don't Vote": a series of videos where celebrities tell us to be apathetic about voting ... and then hit us with a psych! You just got sarcasm'd! In reality, the "Don't Vote" videos are giving the viewer a wink which nonverbally says "we're messin' around; go vote, you moron!"

Inarguably, such campaigns have been successful. The youth turnout was very large in 2004 and even larger this year. 24 million of them, in fact, aged 18 to 29 showed up, which is an increase of 2.2 million from 2004. While it's great to see participation in our political process, one wonders about the old newspaper to voting question, which goes something like this: "About half the population vote and about half read the newspaper. Let's hope it's the same half." Indeed, I question who is the better person: an uninformed voter, or an informed abstainer. On the other hand, perhaps pressuring us into the voting booth is justified: by voting for or against a candidate, we're investing ourselves in those individuals. Thus, we follow their progress and learn as we go. Whether the ends justify the means is for someone wiser than me to decide.

Which leads me to gaming. Gaming is both entertainment and an art-form. It's evolved from an experiment by college researchers to a hobby for electronic enthusiasts to a distraction for bar patrons to a culture for children before finally reaching its final stage of metamorphosis: a global juggernaut larger than film and music which appeals to an incredibly diverse group of folks. And as it becomes more relevant in our society, those of us who follow it closely should feel a responsibility to stay informed and take action when appropriate and/or necessary. Last week I presented a list of items that divides gamers. Here's the Top 5 issues that should leave you standing shoulder to shoulder with your gaming comrades.

"To each their own." It's a simple rule that, if universally followed, could result in world peace. On the other hand, if people didn't go online to bitch at each other about video games, then many bloggers would be collecting unemployment. I can't speak for every other hobby that exists, but I imagine that fly-fishing and glass-blowing message boards are considerably more pleasant than gaming forums.

So as it is, the gaming world is chock full of debate. Hrmm, scratch that. The word "debate" conjures impressions of two well-groomed individuals standing behind podiums and taking turns eloquently addressing issues presented to them by a moderator. For every one of these moments, you get a couple thousand boring ones. But when the forum is switched to the Internet, the dialogue transforms into a partisan torrent of vitriol. While political campaigning may be viewed as a chess match between experts, an appropriate metaphor for gaming and Internet debate in general can be found in the gigantic brawl at the end of 1977's Slap Shot.

In particular, Nintendo fanboys seem to simultaneously be a large source of and recipients to such slander. Perhaps it's due to Nintendo's extensive gaming history (especially when compared to Sony and Microsoft). Similarly, many of these Fanboys grew up with Nintendo, with the NES and SNES occasionally acting as a babysitter. For some, an attack on Nintendo is equal to or worse than an attack on one's family. To such individuals, I say take it easy. I'm certainly not above the label of "Nintendo Fanboy" (look at the name of this site for crying out loud), but I do try my best to apply sound reason and understanding to such hostility. I now present to you a look at 5 common weapons used in battle against Nintendo, an analysis of each argument, and how best a supporter of Nintendo should respond.

As someone who writes on the Internets, I do a lot of reading as well. As just about any successful author will advise, if I want to be a better writer then I should be reading as much as possible. Thus, I tend to spend a good amount of time scouring the gaming websites and reading commentary from just about anyone. I wouldn't insult anyone by pointing out flaws in their work (as I'm host to many of my own), but it is sufficient to say that there is great diversity in the quality and other general attributes of gaming commentary. One source that I do consistently enjoy comes from GoNintendo's head honcho, known as RawmeatCowboy. Equal parts Nintendo fan and beard enthusiast, RMC has a passion for gaming unmatched by nearly anyone else in the entire industry. Whereas some journalists and commentators may give off an impression of jaded cynicism, this particular blogger is a bundle of video game-loving joy. Though he's not quite the wordsmith of a Jerry Holkins, his joy and optimism transcend any potential criticism. And after all, that should be the reason we play video games: for happiness.

Stepping away from worshipping his shrine, I'll get back on target. In a recent post, RMC discusses offline multiplayer via a get-together involving several friends of his trying out Guitar Hero: World Tour. He states that multiplayer is more enjoyable in person than online, and I find it difficult to disagree. That is not to say that online multiplayer is garbage; quite the opposite is true. Aside from the obvious pragmatics of not always being able to round up a few friends to play a game you enjoy, there's the global aspect behind online gaming. Though I've been battling people online via chess years before any major console had such capabilities, the enormous power of the technology didn't register with me until very recently. As I was connecting to an online race in Mario Kart Wii, the identification of racers on the globe really hit home. Realizing that I was simultaneously connecting with individuals from Japan, China, Germany, and England was strangely beautiful.

Despite the fascinating global implications of such connections, I remain a bit of a luddite in that I don't think there's anything better than having your friends in the same room with you while fighting with or against each other. Here's the Top 5 ways we recommend that you enjoy such opportunities.

In order to survive on these tough tubes, one usually needs to develop a biting sense of sarcasm. You know, where we make a statement and then italicize the second part of the sentence to indicate that this is where the funny is. When you work in cynicism, sentimentality and unfettered joy are difficult to host. You can't be contemptuous one moment but filled with child-like joy the next. Thus, we tend to judge the value of holidays based primarily on if it grants us a day off from work.

Yet one holiday that seems to entertain even the crabbiest of bloggers is Halloween. Around the world, the lead-up to October 31st has us enjoying the orange and black decorations, scanning late-night cable for horror movies, and attempting to rationalize buying abundant amounts of candy at the counter of the drug store. Sure, we can be as bitter and weathered as we allow ourselves to be, but there's no denying the joy of carving pumpkins, piecing together a costume, and perhaps even enjoying a good scare or two.

As gaming is always finding new ways to entertain us, fans of things that go bump in the night have no shortage of spooky games. Developers have been attempting to give us frights ever since the obscenely terrible Halloween for the Atari 2600. Good gameplay can survive regardless of technology, but generating a convincing scare is usually dependent on quality audio and visuals. Since top-notch technology and mature content have inconsistently been attributes of Nintendo, our favorite line of consoles is slightly lacking in good scares. But while the Silent Hills and Fatal Frames of the other guys have given us plenty of sleepless nights, Nintendo's consoles are home to a handful of underwear-changing moments. Here's the Top 5 moments that, speaking in strict technical terms, give us the heebie-jeebies.

This week marks the release of the highly anticipated Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. Poised to be more than the usual Metroidvania-romp, Ecclesia's glyph system coupled with great diversity in environments and level layout (we're apparently not stuck inside the castle anymore) has all of us whip-enthusiasts drooling with anticipation. To be honest, Konami could slap the word "Castlevania" on a box of assorted animal feces and we'd still pre-order. Here's the part where I'm supposed take a cheap shot at Castlevania Judgment, but admit it: no matter how many times we all spit on the brawler, we never seem to stop checking out movies or screenshots. Castlevania has us whipped; pardon the hideous pun.

Assuming I haven't lost all credibility after the Mega Man list, here's another stab at ranking the best of a legendary franchise. Unlike most other Top 5's, this list is not necessarily Nintendo-specific. Take a gander, and try to pretend that you don't know what number one is.

The video games as art debate is a ridiculous sham. It seems that many who fall on the "games are not art" side have rarely or never played a video game, often a product of an older generation. If your only experience with video games is hearing news reports about 7 year olds beating up hookers in Grand Theft Auto, then of course your view will be ignorant and bigoted. But that doesn't give critical validity to start creating arguments against that with which you are very unfamiliar. I know surprisingly little about Somalian Islamic Literature, which is why I don't make inflammatory statements about it. To suggest that any video game is incapable of being art is remarkably narrow-minded.

Television and movies choreograph all characters' actions and responses, leaving the viewer as a mere canvas on which the creator's views and reactions are imprinted. Though it's often that a viewer connects with a character and draws individual interpretations, their failures and triumphs can always be placed on the choices of the individual. With gaming, however, the connection can be just as deep, and to some, deeper. When our character fails, we grumble. When our character succeeds, we rejoice. Don't like the outcome? Well, then, you should've done things differently, dummy. While I'm not suggesting that games are better than film, they are simply different and arguably just as valid as high art. At a primitive level, it's not uncommon to punch the sofa in anger after failing a gaming objective. Just the same, it's nearly expected to vocalize with triumph after conquering the same obstacle. Emotional response does not automatically equal art, but creating something which vents one's senses and emotions and appeals to those of others certainly is. Different than stubbing your toe or finding 20 bucks in the street, gaming situations were carefully orchestrated to provide an experience which is dependent on the gamer to interpret. Why should emotions such as fear, love, and sadness be excluded from gaming?

Making my way down from my soapbox, I'll say that perhaps the most intimate display of emotion is crying. Here's the Top 5 moments in gaming that seem to get me every time. SPOILER ALERT: I hate having something ruined just as much as you do, so I'm giving a fair warning right now. This list contains spoilers for several high profile Nintendo titles. None are from the Wii (excluding the Virtual Console), but I will say that the fifth item refers to the WiiWare-bound Cave Story. If you haven't played the game and plan on purchasing it (which you definitely should!), please skip to number four.

This week's press conference from Nintendo was like Reggie himself coming to your door, clutching a bouquet of awesome announcements, and saying "I'm sorry about E3." Indeed, I can't help but think that just one of the awesome titles announced in the past week could have prevented much of the animosity hurled at Nintendo following their ho-hum presentation at the summer exhibition.

But then again, Nintendo has always been one to surprise us. They've made good moves and bad, interesting decisions coupled with utterly clueless assumptions, and made us wonder what the hell they were thinking while amazing us with what they're capable of. Here's the Top 5 biggest surprises unleashed by the Big N.