ESRB describes Crystal Bearers pool minigame
by JC Fletcher 
{ Oct 9th 2009 at 5:45PM }
Good news (or not): it's playable! The ESRB revealed it as a minigame in its content description: "In one mini-game, two women in bikinis try to knock each other off a floating platform using only their hips." The ratings organization also warns buyers that "If players wish to, they may pick up steaming manure and toss it at enemies or the bucolic surroundings." But you knew that!
[Via Siliconera]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
AlgusUnderdunk @ Oct 9th 2009 10:57PM
AWESOME! They included everyone's favorite past-time, Ass-Sumo!
Nathan-DTS [He is your father] @ Oct 9th 2009 5:59PM
You know what pisses me off about anime/manga/any fictional character out of Japan? The hair colours (Proper way to spell colour silly Americans). I don't know why but it annoys me.
Taijo @ Oct 9th 2009 7:21PM
Who downvoted this guy? Anime fans or americans?
MRLN (The Comment God) @ Oct 9th 2009 8:25PM
Both and their mothers.
S. Tiger @ Oct 9th 2009 9:43PM
People with brains downvoted him.
Anti-Villian @ Oct 10th 2009 1:50AM
YES! having a brain is a legitimate reason to down vote a comment on personal taste.
BPMOmega [XBL, PSN, Steam] @ Oct 10th 2009 4:15AM
Personal taste is one thing, being a douche ("proper way" and "silly Americans") is another.
DrgnAK @ Oct 20th 2009 10:54PM
It's a cultural thing. If you think the hair color is only an anime/manga thing, you should check out the hair of some of the people living in Shibuya and Harajuku.
Also, BPMOmega is right. The comment could have been done without the douchery.
Anti-Villian @ Oct 10th 2009 12:44PM
i suppose you guys are right, I just find downvoting kinda hurtful.
BPMOmega [XBL, PSN, Steam] @ Oct 11th 2009 3:41PM
"I just find downvoting kinda hurtful."
Seriously?
I mean... SERIOUSLY?!
Anti-Villian @ Oct 12th 2009 12:30AM
I'm not going to go have a cry but yeah, seriously.
esposch @ Oct 12th 2009 4:13AM
Anti-villain is right.
Sometimes douches are downvoted, but much more often I see people being downvoted BY douches. Often humour, sarcasm and wit don't come across well on the internets.
Dv8thwonder @ Oct 9th 2009 6:37PM
I wonder if this supports the Balance Board?
Asura @ Oct 9th 2009 7:26PM
You know what annoys me about British people? I used to write it colour myself, but now this douchebag convinced me I should revert back to color.
S. Tiger @ Oct 9th 2009 9:44PM
America whooped their asses so they didn't have to spell it as "colour."
Anti-Villian @ Oct 10th 2009 1:51AM
oh no "u" how outrageous, you're so edgy and hectic.
also
"whooped their asses"
how?
S. Tiger @ Oct 10th 2009 1:59AM
American Revolution.
Bowser Rogozhin: England is finished @ Oct 10th 2009 6:18AM
"America whooped their asses"
Classic neo-revisionism.
ceasar4323 @ Oct 10th 2009 3:58PM
The Revolution went very badly for the States until we managed to put together a decent, European-style army--militiamen weren't cutting it. After that, it was a matter of geography; Britain simply couldn't win a war on that scale that was on the other side of the Atlantice.
The War of 1812 didn't go so well for us either and is regarded as a stalemate only because our leaders FINALLY figured out that only a professional army could stand up to a professional army.
But the Battle of New Orleans? Oh yeah, major ass-kicking there.
Anti-Villian @ Oct 10th 2009 5:18PM
To sum up any war as "whooping asses" shows a gross and soulless mentality. I am truly disgusted.
Charlie_Six @ Oct 11th 2009 4:26PM
Just wanted to say that there's something funny about an American and a British guy taking pride/shame/offense due to events that happened 200 years ago.
I mean if American society, circa 2009, looked and thought anything like America circa 1812... then I could see some reasonable connection here.
SoshiKitai @ Oct 12th 2009 3:52PM
America removes all the "eh" parts in its history and highlights the "hell yeah" parts.
I remember learning about the time George Washington fought a giant Ent that shot out nuclear cherrybombs, with nothing but a chainsaw arm - a replacement for the arm he lost during his years as a pirate in the Delaware River.
SterlingSpring @ Oct 10th 2009 12:55AM
Okay Taijo, please refrain from making fun of my people..!! Thats rude and disrespectful!!!
MonKENy @ Oct 10th 2009 12:19PM
unless you are being VERY vaguely sarcastic..I think you have the wrong person
rockman @ Oct 10th 2009 1:18PM
You had me at "..pick up steaming manure.." Day one purchase!
TwEE @ Oct 10th 2009 3:30PM
"If players wish to, they may pick up steaming manure and toss it at enemies or the bucolic surroundings."
Finally!
gatotsu911 @ Oct 11th 2009 12:02AM
Never did I think I'd see the day when Final Fantasy would employ HETEROSEXUAL fanservice. The times they are a-changin'.
Ed @ Oct 11th 2009 12:00PM
Thanks for teaching me a new word, joystiq. Bucolic better be on the GRE now...
Chex Ranger @ Oct 11th 2009 8:17PM
soo....its a pedo version of doax mini games? >_>
Heavytoka @ Oct 12th 2009 11:05AM
Where is Joe Francis lol