Top 5: Nintendo's Worst
15 days ago, Guns N' Roses released their comically delayed album Chinese Democracy, giving hope to those who are still awaiting Duke Nukem Forever. Unfortunately, anyone looking for another Appetite for Destruction will be disappointed, as the new album's overcoming of its absurd delay overshadowed the album itself. One should question the album's association to the same band of twenty years ago, as Velvet Revolver contains more members of that legendary set. A more accurate title would be "Axl Rose solo project with some Buckethead." After hearing the album, I can confirm that it deserves a hearty "meh." If you truly consider this to be a Guns N' Roses album (which I'm not so sure that I do), it's undoubtedly their worst.
This got me thinking about the bottom rungs of other quality serial productions. Being the nerd that I am, it didn't take long for thoughts to drift towards gaming. We're all aware that it's a bit redundant to bash Nintendo as a company. But one aspect of the Big N which is almost never called into question is the quality of their games. Certainly there's always a few outliers which stray from conventional feelings just for disarray's sake, and good for them. Yet one would have to be certifiably bonkers to label anything from the main Zelda or Mario series as a truly terrible game. But like anyone who hasn't sold their soul to the devil, there's bound to be a few slip-ups. When you're talking about a history as enormous to gaming as Nintendo's, it'd be suspicious if there wasn't a blotch here or there.
These aren't quite at the top of the "worst games of all time" list, but they'd certainly be if the list was Nintendo-exclusive.









Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
PSN: HinchyFC @ Dec 8th 2008 12:21PM
#3 isn't working... just a blank screen.
eddy @ Dec 8th 2008 12:22PM
For some reason, I'm not getting the page for #3 - http://nintendo.joystiq.com/2008/12/08/top-5-3 -to show me anything. Loads up the NWF page, but the part where the screenshot and commentary should be are just...blank.
Kaes Delgrego @ Dec 8th 2008 1:52PM
Not sure what happened there, but I apologize for the inconvenience!
sjames7 @ Dec 8th 2008 12:25PM
Page 3 tells me Nintendo is so good that they can't even make 5 bad games; worst they could manage was 4 bad games.
Kaes Delgrego @ Dec 8th 2008 1:52PM
+10 points for the funny. :)
SoshiKitai @ Dec 8th 2008 12:29PM
I do agree with most of these... however, as one can say a Mario Party must be taken in good doses (and only as a form of multiplayer), one cannot say that all Mario Parties after a certain one are bad (except for the one listed).
So as awful as it may be that Mario Party may go until XIII, I wouldn't go on and say it's awful for those who have NEVER played a Mario Party. ...so in that sense, I'll keep buying Mario Parties for my little cousins who have never really played a Mario Party before.
Another thing I am against what you said is WiiPlay. Like you said, the games aren't awful, and they do feel like they were just junked minigames that were tacked on into one thing - but like you said THE GAMES AREN'T AWFUL.
I'm not against what you said, but what you're implying to those who have never played it is the fact that the game isn't worth a purchase.
Considering the game comes with a Wiimote, the price isn't that high. And especially with how some game stores lowering the price (despite the fact that Nintendo seems to despise this action on their games), the game is definitely worth a purchase for the casual couples.
...my gf LOVES WiiPlay, since it's a mono-e-mono match that she could actually beat me in... the controls are fair and aren't horrid, and the games are extremely short but still replayable.
It's a great way to settle a quick match, and easy to say "One More Match!"...
...though obviously the game would be nowhere close of any use to 1. Hardcore gamers (unless they want to include the casual spouse), 2. Single Players (...because... then it'd be kinda' really really pointless), 3. Only Guy Friends (it can get into some awkward silences depending on what kind of friends you've got). But it IS PERFECT for couples. My opinion, of course.
Covarr @ Dec 8th 2008 12:59PM
The length of the Mario Party series was discussed, but the specific bad game was not the series as a whole. It was just Mario Party Advance, because it lacks everything that makes the others worthwhile; because it's primarily single player, because the minigames suck, because the board game aspect is long, tedious, boring, and downright terrible.
Kaes Delgrego @ Dec 8th 2008 1:54PM
You hit the nail on the head, Covarr. Mario Party can be great fun, but the GBA version was really weak.
zchry @ Dec 19th 2008 10:15AM
Also consider that Wii Play is worth 50 coins on Club Nintendo, while a Wii Remote is worth 0. You're only paying ten bucks for 50 coins, a 1 : 5 ratio as opposed to 1 : 1 (assuming, of course, you were going to buy a Wiimote anyways).
Chris Greenhough @ Dec 8th 2008 12:32PM
Sorry about that, guys. Should be all fixed now!
Kaes Delgrego @ Dec 8th 2008 1:58PM
Thanks!
Covarr @ Dec 8th 2008 1:05PM
Based on the inclusion of Mario Party Advance and Pokémon Dash, it's clear that it's not a requirement to have been developed by Nintendo. Why, then, wasn't the list topped by CDi games?
Covarr @ Dec 8th 2008 1:48PM
*cough*
excuse me, I meant CD-i, with the hyphen in there.
Kaes Delgrego @ Dec 8th 2008 1:59PM
Excellent question. I often make up random requirements for these lists, but for most lists the general rule is that when talking about specific games, they must appear on a Nintendo-created console.
Had I included the CD-i games, I can only assume that they would take up the bottom 4 spots (the three Zelda games and Hotel Mario). I've never had the "opportunity" to try them out, though.
It's a shame; the one game that showed any potential promise was cancelled (it may have just been a clone of Super Mario World, but I'll take more Mario any way I can get it!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFwoka4rYVU
Covarr @ Dec 8th 2008 2:26PM
Okay, then. What about the following edutainment games, all published on Nintendo consoles based on Nintendo licenses:
Mario Is Missing! (PC, SNES, NES)
Mario's Time Machine (PC, SNES, NES)
Mario's Early Years! series (SNES)
The Mario's Early Years games weren't actually as bad as the other two, but still far worse than Ice Climber or Wii Play.
Hamster @ Dec 8th 2008 1:09PM
Ice Climbers is great!
Mr Khan @ Dec 8th 2008 8:14PM
This. Ice Climber and Wrecking Crew are criticized for their difficulty, but they indisputably kick ass
madhat @ Dec 8th 2008 1:14PM
Wii Play costs $10, after you factor in the cost of the controller. I've gotten more use out of it than I have out of most of the $10 Wiiware games I've bought.
No one would claim it's great, but worth $10? Not just yeah but hell yeah.
Kizzle @ Dec 8th 2008 1:18PM
Uh, no, The Spaghetti Incident is worse than Chinese Democracy, original lineup or no. I still hear the godawful Misfits cover in my nightmares.
Kaes Delgrego @ Dec 8th 2008 2:02PM
Also not their best, but I feel as though Slash could even keep a Kevin Federline album from being completely terrible (it'd still be bad, but the Slash factor helps).
Garu @ Dec 8th 2008 1:29PM
My wife's nieces really like Wii Play. I agree with pretty much everything you said about it. But maybe it's a game only little kids can enjoy more than once. At the time that I got it, you couldn't not find a second Wii Remote and this was the only way I could get one. So I have no regrets with buying it.
I like Ice Climber! It's just a classic early NES title, so I have fondness for it for that reason alone. But I enjoyed playing it as well. But at least you could play it. There are games far worse than this one on the NES. I had a X-Men game that was unplayable. And the NES had a lot of bad movie tie in games that sucked (Hudson Hawk, Total Recall). I'm not sure but the NES may have had more crap games than any other system, -although the Wii has it's fair share of shovel ware (Petz: Crazy Monkeyz). Anyone else here have an opinion regarding which Nintendo system have the most horrible games produced for it??
And Urban Champion? Hands down the worst Nintendo game on the NES if not any system.
And if you want to see a funny video review of the previously mentioned Petz: Crazy Monkeyz for the Wii, look here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDfsG7VyEbo
Gannon @ Dec 8th 2008 3:05PM
What do you people here think about Donkey Kong Bongo Blast? I'm considering buying it since I love Nintendo games, but I have read some pretty bad comments about the game (NOTE: I liked the Kirby racing game on GC).
Morning Toast @ Dec 8th 2008 1:46PM
Are you kidding? Urban Champ is #1!? Please...Urban Champ isn't *that* bad. There's a lot more to UC than it may seem. Plus find me another fighting game on NES at that time.
Anyone ever go 2-player UC tournament? How about busting out a flower pot combo? It's tougher than you think. And try UC with the Advantage, much, much better game play.
I wish Hot Topic would bust out Urban Champion shirts and maybe a wrestling-style belt too so that I may show off my UC greatness in the office for all to see.
Bring it on you Urban Wimps.
Garu @ Dec 8th 2008 2:21PM
Okay, so what would your choice be for worst Nintendo game of all time? And what would be the worst NES game then in your opinion?
Robert27 @ Dec 9th 2008 12:15PM
Urban Champion!, I remember playing it years ago and it was actually fun.
I never played many NES games but Urban Champion had something like when the police randomly appeared or when a lady threw randomly a pot of flowers.
I had a good time, or maybe I was a simple kid.
Cyantre @ Dec 8th 2008 2:33PM
Urban Champion is pretty fun as far as the older bare-bones NES games go, and Ice Climbers isn't that bad either.
Matias @ Dec 8th 2008 2:57PM
Agree with all of them, specially mario party and wii play, but I've never played ice climbers before (but I've played urban champion, weird huh?), and when they were incluyed in SSBM I was like, wtf, I thought I knew all nintendo characters? And then I played it, and I have to say that I was, well, dissapointed, because I thought their game was going to be as good as the other games from where the other smash characters came from.
Well, I'm a nintendo fanboy, but with the time I've learned to choose my games better, even if they're from nintendo (and I've only been dissapointed by a few games, less than 5 maybe).
neter @ Dec 8th 2008 3:02PM
Sorry, but I used to LOVE both Ice Climbers and Urban Champion. I played those games as an child for hours...
Gannon @ Dec 8th 2008 3:05PM
What do you guys here think of Donkey Kong Bongo Race? Is it worth it?
Roto13 @ Dec 8th 2008 4:34PM
Ice Climber is fantastic. And yes, I have played it a lot. The game doesn't actually end (as far as I know) but I did play it until it looped a few times.
Peter S @ Dec 8th 2008 4:41PM
Haven't played any of these except Ice Climber, but I remember enjoying that game when we used our NES semi-regularly. Definitely wouldn't put it at the bottom of the list. (Maybe for Nintendo games, but I had a lot of different games.) Still remember getting Deadly Towers because it sounded interesting. Definitely not a good use of my money. :)
scissors125 @ Dec 8th 2008 6:25PM
Obvious choices for Nintendo's biggest disappointments, if I may say...
I agree with all of them, and I would like to list my own disappointments to go along with these:
-Starfox Command
-Mario Kart Wii
Ninbrendo @ Dec 8th 2008 7:39PM
"...anyone looking for another Appetite for Destruction while be disappointed..."
Huh?
zchry @ Dec 8th 2008 7:40PM
You know what would be fun? An Ice Climbers WiFi. You get paired off with a random person (or a friend via Friend Codes) and play with them. You control one, they control the other.
Unless you get paired with sucky people. They should work out some sort of points/rank system, where you always get paired with someone of equal skill.
Mr Khan @ Dec 8th 2008 8:16PM
I, however, would advocate for a procedurally generated Ice Climber, something you could literally play forever
zchry @ Dec 10th 2008 10:45PM
Let's combine the ideas.
KIMP @ Dec 9th 2008 4:36PM
What the hell are your saying, that new GN'R album is one of the best rock album of the year!
Even Metallica and AC/CD released good albums this year... crazy!!!
Deozaan @ Dec 9th 2008 10:40PM
Heathcliff was so much better than Garfield.
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