Joystiq [Nintendo]

I actually purchased Rearmed via the PSN first, because I figured the Playstation controller at least had a functional D-pad, which is vital for classic 2D gaming. Xbox 360 owners who've played Street Fighter II or Lumines know what I'm talking about when I say that D-pad needs some work. Anyway, I started playing Rearmed and discovered that it wasn't just waxing nostalgic. This was the real deal down to the near-crippling legacy controls of a hardware-limited era. The NES control pad was an evolution beyond the nightmarish input devices before it, but it was extremely primitive compared to today's tech. We take for granted being able to press a diagonal direction on our D-pads and have the game respond to it, but the poor old NES pad was unreliable in that respect. Bionic Commando didn't use diagonal controls, and the less-than-intuitive control scheme developed for it was carried over to Rearmed. Following the example of my hero, the Lorax, who spoke for the trees, I take it upon myself to speak for the Wiis. I set out to prove that the Wii is most certainly worthy of a slice of this pie, by virtue of its controller.

What did I change to make it Wii-riffic? Well, not much. I tried several motion and tilt control schemes, and found myself playing for long stretches of time, at the end of which I realized I kept reverting to the old digital controls. Rearmed has weapon switching and a few more controls, so I had to map grenade-tossing to a shake of the Wiimote. But like the sweet and pure Smash Bros. formula, Bionic Commando doesn't need to be messed with. Sure, its unintuitiveness is not going to win over any "soccer moms," but this kind of game was never intended to.

It takes a little practice to get the hang of things (no pun intended - honest!), and there's a deliberate learning curve to master the timing for deploying your grapple arm and swinging, but the effort you must put in is what makes this game so fun. We have to take care not to let these types of games go extinct, or our children will have no reason to throw their controllers across the room in frustration.

//Arm
If Wiimote.Two
J = True
wait 20ms
J = False
Else
//Movement
Down = Wiimote.Left
Up = Wiimote.Right
Left = Wiimote.Up
Right = Wiimote.Down
EndIf

K = Wiimote.One //Fire
L = (Wiimote.RelAccZ > 4) //Shake to throw grenades
O = Wiimote.A //Change weapon 1
I = Wiimote.B //Change weapon 2
U = Wiimote.Plus //Inventory menu
Escape = Wiimote.Minus //Pause
Shift + P + I + E = Wiimote.Home //Stop script running

Bionic Commando Rearmed was created as a fun project to help promote the upcoming remake. It runs on the same Capcom multiplatform Framework engine as the remake Diesel engine* which, unfortunately doesn't include the Wii in its supported platforms. However, Dead Rising was built on that same engine, and it's getting ported over to the old Resident Evil 4 engine. An engine so technically impressive needs a skilled team to build it, and I believe the folks at GRIN should have no trouble tackling a Wii-specific game. We can hold onto hope for some BC-lovin', but why do we deserve it? Well, we've got a functional d-pad for starters! Maybe throw in some diagonal controls to soften the learning curve for our console's market. It doesn't need rolling, pitching, or infrared sensor controls to be a fit for the Wii. With the Wii it's already got a proven market of nostalgics who've spent their hard-earned Wii points on Virtual Console classics and the retro-stylized Mega Man 9.

I know GRIN is hard at work finishing up the new Bionic Commando, and there's no chance of a Virtual Console port of the original, but wouldn't you, dear reader, love to play Bionic Commando WiiArmed?

Update: Thanks go to Cedge for supplying the correct name of the engine GRIN is using to make its Bionic Commando games.