Bury the Shovelware: Drake & Josh Talent Showdown

by Kaes Delgrego { Sep 3rd 2008 at 3:30PM }

If you've been reading Bury the Shovelware regularly (as I hope you do!), you've noticed that a common trait amongst the shovelware titles we've examined are licenses. In fact, anyone who vaguely follows gaming knows that licensed games have higher-than-average odds of being awful. But what's almost guaranteed to be awful is a license which has little-to-no relevance to a video game. Sure, Superman Returns, Peter Jackson's King Kong, and Jackass: The Game may have not been great, but at least they had the potential. I mean, who wouldn't want to fly around defeating enemies, swat down airplanes as you scaled the Empire State Building, or be gored by an angry Bull? Even other types of entertainment such as sports and game shows work just fine as the basis for a video game (well, for the most part).

Then, of course, there's the IP that has no business being involved in a video game. Not too long ago, a symphony of forehead smacks was heard throughout the gaming press when GameSpot reported (in error) that a video game based on the successful film Juno was being planned. And rightfully so. Television shows and movies grounded in reality have no business being the basis for a video game. Are there any successful video games about washing the dishes? About paying late fees for overdue books at the library? About going to the convenience store and finding that they're all out of Nantucket Nectars? The majority of situations we find ourselves in during the course of a regular day does not translate well to video games. So neither should a television show that doesn't involve robotic children. Here's an exemplar piece: Drake & Josh: Talent Showdown.

00:00:08 - One of the intro screens say Nick Arcade! Aww, nuts. It's unrelated.

00:00:15 - Hmm ... this title screen music does not fit at all. I'm no Drake & Josh connoisseur, but I have watched a few episodes before. This music feels more like a show where Drake is a strung-out junkie and Josh is a small-time hustler. I had my suspicions before, but I'm already getting the impression that the developers had little to no familiarity with the IP.

00:00:34 - WOAH! Bad cartoon likeness of what I assume is Josh, being accompanied by even worse music, informs me that "It all started with the Regional Talent Competition being held at our own Belleview High School!" OOOH, they used the correct name. My faith is restored.

00:00:52 - Josh: "So naturally I entered. My magic tricks sure [sic] to dazzle the judges." Somewhere, an English Major is crying.

00:01:00 - Drake: "Travis, that loser from Lincoln High, decided to bring along some muscle to sabotage the competition." Oooh, the anonymously evil Lincoln High!

00:03:14 - The gameplay is somewhat Zombies Ate My Neighbors-esque ... minus zombies ... oh, and minus fun. Well, it's not hideous or anything. It's just not very good.

00:04:02 - ARGH! One of my pet peeves in DS games is present here: games which require you to control the character using both the d-pad and the face buttons AS WELL as the stylus. I hate fumbling around to get the stylus out in time. Here, when accosted by a random bully character, you must scratch the stylus back and forth in order to shake the bully loose. Why couldn't that have been designated by button presses?

00:06:12 - So, I'm searching for Drake's band members who were "grabbed" (that's an awfully questionable word choice) by the Lincoln High muscle. This is really monotonous. To give the game credit, you are required to switch between Drake and Josh, each with their own special abilities and areas to access. But it's nothing to write home about.

00:08:37 - There's absolutely nothing here that's keeping me entertained. Done!

In the past, the definition of a tragic hero was one who started from nobility and success but suffered from a debilitating downfall. Arthur Miller's 1949 play Death of a Salesman radically altered this definition to include someone who was never in a position of happiness and has always suffered. Similarly, I wonder what the worse game is: the one that shows potential but fails to deliver on it, or the game that was loathed from its announcement and didn't fail to meet expectations. For example, should the critically slammed game based on the critically applauded film Iron Man be despised any more or less than Drake & Josh: Talent Showdown? Is Iron Man more tragic due to is potential, or is Drake & Josh since it never had a chance?

I would lean towards the latter. Imagine that you're a developer on one of those two games. Even if you mess up, the idea of creating an action romp based on an awesome movie would keep you highly pumped throughout its development. But if you're stuck trying to make sense out of a Drake & Josh video game, that's going to hang over your head throughout the entire development. And no one can work well with failure constantly on the mind.

In gaming, the term shovelware refers to any game in which time and effort were eschewed in favor of turning a quick profit. Bury the Shovelware takes a closer look at these titles, typically those that inhabit the lower end of metascores. It attempts to: 1) find out where and how the developer went wrong 2) identify common traits present in most shovelware 3) measure how long the game can be suffered.

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Mr Khan @ Sep 3rd 2008 4:39PM

A sitcom into a game?

The result was bound to happen, but good development can save much

aj @ Sep 3rd 2008 5:30PM

I thought all of the Nickelodeon/Disney Child Labour had video games. Hannah Montana, Cory In The (Da?) House, and isn't there a "Naked Brothers" game (which sounds really dirty and yet compelling)?

As to tragedy - Kurt Vonnegut wrote an interesting essay on the subject (it's in "The Man Without A Country", I think), where he suggests that tragedy has to involve movement. It can't start and end in the same place, or something to that effect. So in regards to this game, it basically met all expectations. Not a tragedy. Just another piece of mediocre crap no one asked for and no one wanted.

Kokomadeta @ Sep 16th 2008 12:30AM

Lol...Naked Brothers Band. My niece told me about them. Apparently they get in coconut bras and crap and play in a band.

Sure, when they do it, they get famous. When I do it, I get the cops called on me.

Zealot @ Sep 3rd 2008 7:25PM

Ugh. The live-action schlock Nick churns out these days make things from my childhood like All That, Pete and Pete, Alex Mack, Eddie McDowd, Space Cases, Kenan and Kel, etc. look like high art. (Pete and Pete was, in my opinion.) No game can ever hope to be good when the source material is artificially engineered to be popular with a given demographic rather than being so on its own merits.

BlackPeregrin @ Sep 3rd 2008 8:48PM

I'm still waiting for my copy of iCarly DS.

TJF588 @ Sep 4th 2008 1:24AM

With the advent of iCarly, I've found that that girl is an instance of the kind of tweenie pricks I want to slap across the face (compare to Ciley Myrus and the Cromagnus Brothers, who[m(?)] I want to [destructive verb, preferrably involving fire/burning).
*gets phone call*
*gets back to post*
I find Drake & Josh to be an alright show (I've stated that it's the only (non-suck/decent/etc.) live-action show on Nickelodeon (again, compare to Disney Channel's "equiv.", Suite Life)). Thank you, Zealot, for typing "Space Cases". Not sure if that's the show I'm thinking of, but if it is, then I do thank you for (kinda) giving me a name. Now, how 'bout some Land of the Lost (had the board game), the original game shows (just plain ol' "Double Dare" and "GUTS" (maybe that "some kid made this; guess what it is" show)), and whatever that the-kids-would-"go-into-a-game"-then-come-back-out-for-regular-game-show-proceedings show was (came on really early morning by the time I remember taking attention).

Zealot @ Sep 4th 2008 12:05PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Cases

This should probably confirm whether or not you're really thinking of what you think you're thinking of.

Double Dare and GUTS were awesome. One of my unfulfilled childhood dreams was scaling the Aggro Crag. Only reason I didn't mention them was because they were game shows rather than sitcoms. And what you're thinking of is Nick Arcade, probably my favorite show when I was four years old. Good times.

ALH @ Sep 4th 2008 8:03AM

I think The wario ware series is proof positive that ANYTHING can be made into a fun game, from picking your nose to grinding a car down in a giant cheese grater. ' We have a shitty ip' isnt an escape clause, some responsibility lies on the devs back too.

This years animex had a speech from travellers tales speaking about the lego star wars/batman etc series, and how liscenced games dont HAVE to be pants. A good artist can make anything look beautiful, and in the same sense, surely a good designer (with the appropriate amount of time of course..) could make even the rubbishest of IPs something that is not a torture to play through?

Kaes Delgrego @ Sep 4th 2008 9:57PM

Good point! It still sucks for that developer, though. If the title turns out to be awesome, then there's always the stigma of being attached to an awful license. I can't think of any solid examples, but I'm sure there's been an awesome game based on a weird IP that was ignored by critics and/or consumers based on said IP.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

Gonzo @ Sep 4th 2008 10:50AM

Pete & Pete effin-A. That was a great show. They should make a game of that or some older school Nick stuff.

I want to see a video game for You Can't do that On Television or Mr Wizard. You may think I'm crazy but I bet you some of the developers would at least be familiar with the shows and as they've been off the air for years, there should be no rush for development.

"Similarly, I wonder what the worse game is: the one that shows potential but fails to deliver on it, or the game that was loathed from its announcement and didn't fail to meet expectations."
The first because I might actually buy it. Ex: No More Heroes looked like an amazing and engrossing game but they managed to make the gameplay so boring and repetitive that no amount of style or raunchy humor could make me like it.

HUwaghhHROTHGAR! @ Sep 4th 2008 9:13PM

Drake and Josh IP...... What they really need to do is remake some of those great old nick toons or shows into games. take salute your shorts and make a mini game collection with a camp theme. or what about Rocco's Modren Life?? i sure something funny and fun to play could be salvaged out of that?? hell even a game based on Nick News W5 sounds more fun.