You know, I was sitting here and enjoying a nice bowl of oatmeal, when suddenly a small and frightening object came crashing into my office here at Wii Fanboy Estates. It was none other than Joystiq's Ludwig Kietzmann. "I have something for you, David," he said, shortly before slapping me in the mouth. As the universal Joystiq greeting, I felt obliged to return the gesture, but so hard was Ludwig's smack, I found myself on the floor before having time to react. Clearly, he had put some time in with the company.

"We've got Metroid Prime 3 boxart!" he said, slamming a sheet of paper down onto my collection of milk crates I call a desk. As I picked myself up off the ground and looked the sheet over, I stroked my chin in a manner that most people do when they're looking over a sheet of paper. "So ... what game is ...?" I ask, only to find myself slapped again before the last syllable escapes my mouth. Then, Ludwig jams another piece of paper in my face, one that shows off boxart for a certain Sega title called Sonic Adventure 2.

"We must warn the people!" he screamed, as he jumped out of the window like a flying rodent escaping a dark underworld. I wondered if he was dead (my office is on the 73rd floor), when just then I saw him atop a flying hyena, off toward the sunset. "That Ludwig," I think to myself. "He sure is one awesome dude."

I then realize my wallet is missing. And so is one of my kidneys.


[Via Joystiq]