Japanese hardware sales, 25 September - 31 September: Corner drug dealer edition

by Jason Wishnov { Oct 6th 2006 at 8:50PM }

Everyone's doing it, man. People say you can get addicted to heroin, or cocaine, or all that stuff. But let me tell you something, kid. Cocaine doesn't evolve. Heroin can't level the hell up. I got what you need, kid, right here, and for a low, low price.

This ain't no gym. You won't find some weak Pidgey crap here, man. You look like a tough guy, I think I've got somethin' for ya ... yeah, this is the stuff. We call it rare candy, if you know what I mean. The devil's Fun Dip, if you will. You want that Dragonite, kid? This is the way to go.

What's it cost? I'm not askin' for much, here, pal. Maybe a couple of sales figures in return for my trouble. Oh, you got a couple? All right, lay 'em on me, kid, there we go, ahhhhh, that's some good stuff ....

- DS Lite: 274,389

134,554 (96.22%)
- PS2: 31,992 681 (2.08%)
- PSP: 25,319

2,201 (9.52%)
- Xbox 360: 2,195

1,086 (97.93%)
- GBA SP: 1,811334 (15.57%)
- Game Boy Micro: 1,103 83 (7.00%)
- Gamecube: 523 240 (31.45%)
- DS Phat: 253

63 (19.94%)
- GBA: 10

10 (50.00%)
- Xbox: 3 5 (62.5%)

Never again, kid? Sure. I'll be seeing you again ... I guarantee it.

[Source: Media Create]

[Special thanks to my roommate, Ryan, for the inspiration.]

Tags: Charts, Cocaine, Figures, Fun Dip, FunDip, Hardware, Heroine, Japan, Numbers, Pidgey, Pokemon, Rare Candy, RareCandy, Sales

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Probot @ Oct 6th 2006 9:17PM

"[Special thanks to my roommate, Ryan, for the inspiration.]"

Are you sure it's wise to post the name and location of drug dealers?

Josh @ Oct 6th 2006 9:30PM

Absolutely hilarious, man! Thanks for the laughs!

I especially thought the last part was funny, but I'm not sure exactly what you mean. Hopefully it's not as Probot is suggesting, because it could be that Ryan simply did inspire you to make this without too much personal experience on his part.

Either way, good job!

nat @ Oct 7th 2006 12:57AM

The google ad in the rss version of this article was something about Hepatitis C testing saying "sharing a cocaine straw is just one of the risk factors - find out"

Also, many heroines DO level up.

BPMΩ @ Oct 7th 2006 2:43AM

Rare Candy is like steroids for Pok�mon...
You give 'em one, and BAM! Somehow they got enough experience points to REACH THE NEXT LEVEL.

Faar @ Oct 7th 2006 6:38AM

While this has nothing to do with the post, I'd just like to point out that the DS Opera Browser just launched in Europe, yesterday in fact, and not even a mention here on DS F-boy. Yes yes, I know it was "just in Europe", but maybe it's time to wake up and realize the US is not = everything that matters.

Jason Wishnov @ Oct 7th 2006 1:03PM

I'd also like to point out that I can't remember the last time we posted ANYTHING that alerted gamers to a product release on the day of said release, in the US or otherwise. If said release make some crazy news-waves (like the recent Pokemon release in Japan), then we'll post it, but otherwise, we cater no more to the US than to Europe in that regard. Though, maybe we should start posting more release dates in general...

Sri Lumpa @ Oct 7th 2006 3:25PM

"otherwise, we cater no more to the US than to Europe in that regard."

You have the weekly DS releases for the US but I don't remember seeing them for the EU.

I am not saying that it means you are catering to the US more that way by design, it might not be as easily available to you in the EU like hardware sales are not as easily available in the West than in Japan but if you could post them more often I certainly would like that (though Joystiq has the UK software sales quite often which is nice).