Behold: Our GDC predictions

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Mar 22nd 2006 at 9:22PM }

With the unflinchingly polite Satoru Iwata set to unveil all manner of Revolution details tomorrow at his Game Developer's Conference keynote, we thought it would be, at the very least, vaguely entertaining if we made some bold predictions less than 24 hours before the spectactular event. In no particular order, here are Revolution Fanboy's Predictions for Satoru Iwata's Game Developer's Conference Keynote Tomorrow Regarding the Nintendo Revolution (Working Title) 2006:

A quick, informal poll conducted amongst attendees will determine the Revolution's new moniker. Choices include "The Nintendo 360", "The Nintendo Powerstick", "The Wand of Game-On" and the "VirtuaPoke", though Iwata clearly favors "The Miyamoto Device".
In a move closely mirroring the hugely successful Sega Saturn launch, it is announced that the Miyamoto Device launches worldwide...today. It is mistakenly put in the kitchen appliance section by most major retailers. It's just as well, because...
Iwata announces that an elaborate remake of Burger Time is the system's only launch title, with Metroid Prime: Cookin' with Samus and Even Newer Mario Bros: Super Chef Saga following just in time for Christmas. When questioned about the abundance of cooking games on the system, Iwata notes that "Waving a stick around all day tends to make you hungry. Why not learn something in the process? It's either that or crappy fishing games."
The Miyamoto Device's main marketing tagline is revealed to be "It's either that or crappy fishing games."
As for the pricepoint, Iwata firmly places it at 10,000 Russian Rubles. He also points out that when he said the system was launching worldwide, he meant exclusively in Russia.

And there you have it folks. We could have made a joke post out of this and made ridiculous claims such as "We expect a $199 Revolution to launch in October", but we decided it would be best to remain realistic and fair. We'll find out soon enough how wise a decision that was.

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

FoNNe @ Mar 22nd 2006 10:52PM

Quote: "We could have made a joke post out of this and made ridiculous claims such as "We expect a $199 Revolution to launch in October", but we decided it would be best to remain realistic and fair. We'll find out soon enough how wise a decision that was."
Yes, of course, "we could have made a joke, but we're keeping it real", is this a joke or something (if it is, it's actually not that bad).

RS @ Mar 22nd 2006 11:00PM

@ #1, yes, I believe that was the joke.

ngS @ Mar 22nd 2006 11:43PM

"The Miyamoto Device's main marketing tagline is revealed to be "It's either that or crappy fishing games.""

LMAO

ngS @ Mar 22nd 2006 11:45PM

The Miyamoto Device's main marketing tagline is revealed to be "It's either that or crappy fishing games."

LMAO

tblaze @ Mar 22nd 2006 11:53PM

Dam... I was hoping ShiggStation was going to the name....

boots @ Mar 23rd 2006 12:06AM

Umm, Ludwig, I think your whole post was a joke. It was, right? I mean, I think only the last paragraph wasn't funny. Yeah, that.

;)

-al @ Mar 23rd 2006 12:33AM

Wand of Game-On, indeed.

Nice one.

Adam Blinkinsop @ Mar 23rd 2006 1:39AM

Well, shoot. I've only got 8,743 rubles left. Anyone want to split the cost?

Rivendale286 @ Mar 23rd 2006 1:54AM

"It's either that or crappy fishing games."

Freaking hilarious. They should actually make the Rev's motto be that... A new AIM away message for me that nobody will get, oh yeah!

Sam Goldman @ Mar 23rd 2006 9:31AM

I SO want a Burger Time remake.

LordIcarus @ Mar 23rd 2006 9:59AM

I so totally love sarcasm.

DidYouLoseASock @ Mar 23rd 2006 10:02AM

I want burger time! I have the Game Boy version which IMHO is the best version. How even made Burger Time?

ZNB @ Mar 23rd 2006 1:45PM

Burger Time Revolution would be one of the best games ever. I actually hooked up an Intellivision just to play it on wednesday. It was made by Data East Co.

Raymond @ Mar 26th 2006 10:22PM

"1. Quote: "We could have made a joke post out of this and made ridiculous claims such as "We expect a $199 Revolution to launch in October", but we decided it would be best to remain realistic and fair. We'll find out soon enough how wise a decision that was."
Yes, of course, "we could have made a joke, but we're keeping it real", is this a joke or something (if it is, it's actually not that bad)."

Some people are just stupid as hell.

Add your comments

Your comments:

Remember me

E-Mail me when someone replies to this comment

Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.

When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.

To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.