Confirmed: Revolution shoots laser beams
by Ludwig Kietzmann 
{ Feb 17th 2006 at 7:07PM }
We've known
for quite a while that the Revolution was sneakily harboring yet another secret, though we never expected
it to be quite this amazing. At long last, the veil has been lifted to reveal...laser beams coming right at
you! If a Gamespot forum poster going by the name of "MicrosoftISdumb" is to be trusted
(And why not? He seems entirely reputable!), Nintendo's next innovation is the very first and very astonishing
implementation of laser beam technology in a console. After an extremely long-winded bout of praising Nintendo's philosophy and dredging up quotes out of context, the post author makes a spectacular claim: You see, these aren't the deadly laser beams you've come to associate with poorly written science-fiction shows. Oh no, these are beams of pure, sensuous, visual pleasure. Similar to technology developed by a company called Light Blue Optics, a laser mini-projector comes attached to the Revolution, with its magical beams truly bringing your action-adventures and cooking sims to startling life. It'll project all sorts of games and movies right into your living room, making you feel as if you're actually there.
Make no mistake, this is Earth-shattering news. It blows most of our past theories out of the water, illustrating yet again how accurate and reliable information gleamed from random users on an internet message board can be. Backed up by considerable laser power, there's no way the Revolution could possibly fail.
[Thanks Ph[i]l!]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Jason P @ Feb 17th 2006 8:11PM
BUILT FOR WINDOWS 95
Moogle @ Feb 17th 2006 8:23PM
Urgh, that guy reminds me of the kid in middle school who tried to convince me and a few others that this faq he found about how to unlock street fighter characters in the collisium in FF3(jap 6), and a hundred other stupid things, was really real, he had done it. Yeah, sure, so you're saying the url at the top of the printouts was cut off (poorly) by the printer, no so we couldn't see the url was something like www.stupidjokefaqs.com.
Yes, two unrelated pieces of technology are coming out around the same time, they're obviously going to combine to form the ultra-mega-xbox-ps-destroyer!!!!onehundredeleven!
*sigh* I think I'm just irritable because I want my revolution and DS lite aleady. :)
g-angsta @ Feb 17th 2006 8:25PM
Slow news day, eh?
Ludwig Kietzmann @ Feb 17th 2006 8:27PM
Whatever gave you that idea, sir? :)
Jason @ Feb 17th 2006 8:53PM
It's gonna be a slow news month for the next three months.
D. Short @ Feb 17th 2006 10:02PM
Hehe well... keep up the good work. It's entertaining
Austin @ Feb 17th 2006 10:39PM
Don't drag your stupid forum fanboy fights onto a blog, no one wants to read about it but you and your forum pals, on the forum, not here.
Jimmy @ Feb 17th 2006 11:33PM
Well, I went on to Gamestop and found the post. He's actually a pretty knowledgable guy. I'd reccommend reading the post.
http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=24328400
I mean, I don't think it's true, but he DOES make a lot of good points, so I really suggest you take the time to read it.
After you read it, you might be able to agree with me on a few things:
I don't think it will happen because:
1. He states that the Rev is going to be big in movies, but if the Rev was gonna be big in movies, why would it require an attachment thing sold sepperatly to play movies?
2. I don't think the projector is going to happen because it sounds expensive, I mean, it's new technology that's the size of a matchbox, that's gotta cost a lot, I mean, I'm sure they'd get a lot cheaper once Nintendo started mass producing them, but at first they'd prolly be real expensive, and the rumor is that the Rev is gonna start at a sale price of $200 or $250 (which is a GREAT move by Nintendo!!! Comes Christmas time, parents are gonna be like, hmmmmm, what console should I buy for my 10 year old? This console is $200, the other ones are $400, hmmm, I think I'll go with the $200). So I really don't think Nintendo would be able to put a projector in the Rev and keep the sale price low
So because of these reasons, I don't think it's going to happen. You're probably thinking, what a dumbass, he actually considered it. Well, Nintendo is trying to Revolutionize gaming with the Rev and the guy DOES have a lot of good points if you read his post. You're prolly thinking, he's ones of those kids who spell stuff wrong, and spell stuff like ur, lol, o, noob, ect. But he's actually a pretty knowledgeable guy. So I'd reccomend reading the post because he makes a lot of good points.
Here's the link again:
http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=24328400
Gamerlm18 @ Feb 18th 2006 3:45AM
I was there the day he posted this thread. I can't beliave someone had that kind of dedication to acctually do all that research. If you people acctually read the post you'll find that this poster acctually has some very good points. I'm skepticle about this kinda technology being included just becuase of the fact that it would raise the price of the machine. but hey who's to say nintendo isn't going to do this.
Jason @ Feb 18th 2006 9:43AM
This year has been flying by very quickly, but is it April 1 already?
Jonathan @ Feb 18th 2006 10:29AM
Isn't inaccurate paraphrasing just as bad as quoting out of context.
Talk about being hypocritical...
Ludwig Kietzmann @ Feb 18th 2006 11:54AM
Inaccurate paraphrasing? Sir, I do believe you're missing the sarcasm there. We didn't take this story seriously, not in the slightest.
(Of course, I'll promptly deny all this when it miraculously turns out to be true.) ;)
bbashya @ Feb 18th 2006 1:03PM
Definitly a good read as his post is very well researched and thought out.
Here are all the quotes that I believe support his theory:
Satoru Iwata -
"When you turn on Revolution and see the graphics, you will say 'wow!'" "Our competitors have detailed the power of their core processor and display. But the advantages of our technology will also have no bearing on gameplay. I know, this is one of those mysterious comments."
"We invented the current way a console is played - in front of a television and holding a controller - but maybe that image will change."
"Work on Revolution is well underway. When you see it you will be excited because you will experience a gaming revolution."
Shigeru Miyamoto -
"I think maybe if I could do anything, I would make it so you don't have to sit in front of a TV and play. If you could have a machine that you just plugged in and played inside a virtual world that - would be just great."
"It's convenient to make games that are played on TVs," Miyamoto is quoted as saying. "But I always wanted to have a custom-sized screen that wasn't the typical four-cornered cathode-ray-tube TV. I've always thought that games would eventually break free of the confines of a TV screen to fill an entire room. But I would rather not say anything more about that."
"Sitting in front of your monitor with a controller, there's really nowhere to go from that paradigm, all you can do is make it prettier and faster," he says.
"What Nintendo wants to do is to open up that road, create something that goes beyond."
"Nintendo is always trying to be on the forefront of control innovations, like the analog stick, rumble or wireless. As soon as these are available, our competitors snatch them up. Because the user interface is going to drive the Revolution software design, that's what's going to make our software stand out. Nobody else is going to be able to do what we do with next-generation game software. So, I can't reveal anything. It's under wraps because it's the big gun."
via http://www.gamespot.com/pages/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=24321276
Ludwig Kietzmann @ Feb 18th 2006 1:22PM
Hmm, well I think we can all agree that it WOULD be simply awesome if this turned out to be true. However, I don't think it's an entirely realistic proposition. A lot of those quotes were made before the controller was unveiled and could be indicative of that particular innovation. There's also a few that could easily be attributed to mere "musings".
If it came across that I was just bashing this guy for no reason, keep in mind that anybody can report the news. As with my DS Fanboy contributions, I'm trying to give you an entertaining read as well. Emphasis on "trying", right? :D
Daniel J. @ Feb 18th 2006 3:13PM
How is this "confirmed"?
Callum @ Feb 19th 2006 12:29AM
Has any of you seen Austin Powers Gold Member?
If you have, I vaguely remember Dr Evil saying: "I've got fricken sharks with fricken laser beams attatched to their heads", which is exactly what this picture is of.
neale @ Feb 19th 2006 4:43PM
great post on that forum. ive been thinkin about it, it does seem possible.
the only no-go i can find is the fact of price. how much would one of these componants actaully cost to implement.
its well researched, but it is still just speculation.
and the 3d thing, how does that work? are we talkin holograms? or do we need some shades to see it 3d?
Superzapper2000 @ Feb 19th 2006 6:18PM
The whole post is speculation and guess work.There are no valid points in the post and you can always put words into other people mouths by misinterpreting what they originally meant.The Revolution is a pumped up gamecube with a great controller option .There's nothing more that you should be expecting from a game console that's going to be sub $300.00.If you're expecting more then you are going to be disapointed.If the Revolution had that type of tech built in it would have been bragging about it a long time ago and in detail plus it would have had to have patents for the idea too.The Revolution is going to be a great cheap console with great games ,Don't forget Nintendo can exagerate just as good as Sony and Microsoft.Take everything fanboys and Analysts guys say with a pinch of salt.
neale @ Feb 20th 2006 1:27AM
but a fancy controller and back catalogue is hardly a 'revolution.' there must be soemthing revolutionary, and a built in projector is just crazy.
imagine it had inputs, id sell my tv and plug everything into it
roll on may
Superzapper2000 @ Feb 20th 2006 7:46PM
A Revolution does not mean Revolutionary .
Anticrawl @ Feb 23rd 2006 9:00PM
Well I just have this to quote to have you to think about. It is from an exclusive interview with Miyamoto at E3 about the revolution by spong.
"Another flap shows twin solid state storage drives, another flap, the important and ominous-looking one on the front, would not open."There's a clue there," we were told by senior Nintendo staff today as we pawed the hardware, which we could power on and off and fully examine. "That's the Revolution, right there." The collective SPOnG mind boggled. "
Source: http://spong.com//detail/editorial.jsp?eid=10109292&&cb=0.5416906532342852&&cb=0.6929565223590239&&cb=0.1563161211337456&&cb=0.9119109941216809
If that does anything for you then there is a plethora of information on the speculation for what's inside that flap.
My page for one has articles devoted on less(or not at all) talked about/known rumors/facts about the revolution.
Anticrawl
Superzapper2000 @ Feb 23rd 2006 9:26PM
Are you serious ?.It could just be 3 different types of memory slots or a GBA slot or GB slot.There's not going to be lasers or projectors in the Revolution .I've been in the Hardware and software business for over 20 years and what you guys are saying is the ramblings of lunatics.I'm as excited as the next Nintendo fan about the Revolution but you're going to far.
ph 0 @ Feb 24th 2006 1:25PM
if it were to have laser projection, wouldn't it make more sense to have it project out of the mystery hole in the back panel? seems easier for game inserting purposes. i'm not sure what they're planning to put behind that flap, but it's bound to be more interesting than memory slots. i don't think it's a stereoscopic laser powered pancake maker, but something must be lurking under there...maybe it physically teleports your body into the game or shoots psychotropic gas.
perhaps nintendo really doesn't care, and this is their last hardware attempt before they pull a sega...so they can do crazy stuff like shoot lasers and generate pancakes in real time...
N-quality @ Feb 24th 2006 10:00PM
this could be true,rumors hav been going on about it for a long time,and for a reason. i hope its true,but i hav 5 reasons to trus this rumor
1. iwata and miyamoto sed downloadable classics on the revolution "would give a new look on the game" this could be the new look he was talking about
2. he also sed movies would be huge on the revolution,and this has to be the reason for the attachment
3. this could be the reason they chose to decline HD
4. miyamoto sed the revolution has yet another neat secret,and since these rumors hav been going on for a long time,this mus be it
5. this is the geniuses from nintendo we're talking about,only they could think up of something as innovative as this. and unlike sony and ms,they never exagerated the truth(if they did,correct me)
those r pretty logical reasons,and its smart to guess this is what the big-N has made for the revolution. that controller and those 3-d projectional graphics will go great together,don't u ppl agree wit me?
David @ Mar 7th 2006 11:02PM
If yall just got that info yall are late. I've known that since last year. But like the DS its a very innovative idea. Nintendo doesn't get the well deserved props that they should.
David Soublet Jr. @ Mar 7th 2006 11:08PM
If you all just got that info you are really late. I've known that since last year. But like the DS the design is very innovative. Nintendo doesn't get the well deserved props they should. Though I am an avid Nintendo fan I predict by experience that the Revolution will be an unrecognised revolution.
X_Arre @ Apr 16th 2006 6:28PM
I'm sorry but when was this "confirmed"?